It's been a while, but we're back.  It was definitely not for lack of cubicle stories that we weren't posting new entries - sadly it was due to an abundance of worked combined with the holidays.  But the old man dressed in red is gone for another year, and we've managed to bull shit our way through all of the work we've had.  So with that being said, allow me to tell you a story of one person that drives me crazy in my office.  The person in question?  Mr. Talks Out Loud.

Now when it comes to thinking out problems and coming up with great solutions I am a huge fan of anything that works.  When I'm trying to learn something in the comfort of my own home, a lot of times I will read things out loud because it helps me comprehend it better.  But you know what I don't do?  I don't just randomly talk out loud in the office.  There are names for people that do that.  I like to think that 'crazy-person' sums them up nicely.  If you were to be sitting on the bus and the person next to you started talking to himself like he was asking you questions, would you say that is a normal person?  I personally, might try talking back to them in a language I made up.  See what happens.  Roll the dice.  Hope they don't have a knife.

What makes this guy worse is that he doesn't just mumble the conversation to himself - he literally speaks it.  Normal tone, normal volume - hence I have to look over and see what the hell is going on.  If he isn't talking to himself, he is singing. Not a song per say.  More like random words thrown together to a tune that I'm sure has something to do with the apocalypse.  It's nearly impossible to actually think, let alone work, when this is happening.  So what do you think I should do in this situation?  I've just about had my wicks end.

First I thought that maybe, just maybe I could go over and ask him to stop.  But then I look at this poor bastard and think - maybe if I tell him to stop the voice in his head might take over.  What if that voice is going to tell him to jump through the window?  Do I want that on my conscious?  Second thought was maybe if I start doing the same thing he will realize that it's a distraction and that he is totally insane.  I quickly realized that there is a good possibility that he might take this as me being one of his own.  I do NOT want to be thought of as one of his own.

So, here I am, sitting at work right now.  Listening to a conversation on what he should do for lunch, followed by a song that scares me more than anything else in the office.  Who is this insane person?  How did they get this job?  Did they hire themselves?  Maybe they are pulling a Kramer from Seinfeld and just showing up at the office with a briefcase full of crackers.  It's scary - but quite possibly true.