SPAM is so horrible that we had to write more than one article on it.  Now I hate getting spam in my work email.  It is like we said in the last article; we usually find more spam at work than in our personal emails.  How that happens I don’t know, but I sure hope that someday I get a cut of the money that people make from selling my email address to spammers.

I do have to give the spammers credit because they have mastered the art of making me think that it’s a real work email.  However, when I do open the email, to my surprise it isn’t a reply to a message I sent.  Instead it is an email full of useless information and adult sites.  So, allow me to give my summary of the three most annoying spam messages to receive, and why it proves that when we talk about spammers – their wheel is turning but the hamsters dead.

Stock Quotes

These ones seemed to appear more often during the last few months.  They give some penny stock symbol names and say that it’s going to go through the roof during the next week.  Thanks Trade-Master – but I’m not going to hedge my future on an email message that has random key strokes and weird colors scattered throughout it.  I mean, at least try to pull something off like in the movie Boiler Room – sling a little ‘white mans crack rock’ and become a fake stock broker.

First off, people are generally stingy when it comes to spending their money.  Second, most people are scared of the stock market if they haven’t bought any stocks before; and if they have bought stocks – they’re not reading your stupid spam mail.  Finally, do you really think that Grandma is going to log on and get this spam message and think “Geez, I have never bought stocks before, but this one sure looks good.  I’m sure the sender knows what they are talking about.”  I think not…maybe if she has gone crazy…but that’s it.

Cialis / Viagra / Pharmacy 

No matter how you spell it spammers, I understand that you’re trying to sell me boner pills.  But don’t you think that one message about how I can keep erect for over 2 hours is enough?  No, I know you can’t figure that out – nor do I think that you can spell.  That’s right, I’m on to you.  The first hundred times I got an email with the word Ci11alis in it you tricked me, not unlike Vi1agraaa and Pharrmaacyy.  I can only imagine that you must have issues when you type or you’ve taken one too many of your own pills. (The blood has left your head for too long)

So, do you really think that everyone you spam needs boner pills?  That they are all male or that the female recipients need to slip their men a pill for a surprise?  More importantly, why would someone buy this online?  I guess it might be an easy and discreet way – but I can guarantee that me painting a few allergy pills blue isn’t going to make your rocket fire into space.

Sex Sites - The Classic 

Yeah, this one will never grow old.  The topics that we get in our emails from the spammers are now getting more and more disturbing.  Before the content of the emails used to be about hot girls, and guys, but now most of the emails are hardcore, raunchy donkey show type situations.  Really, I understand that you need to spam and make your money – but at least send something out that someone *might* click on.  But then again, if I’ve bought a bottle of Cialis and Viagra from your Pharmacy, then lost all of my money on the latest penny stock you gave me a hint on, maybe I do need something like a donkey show to help ease my pain.  Hell, I’ve probably got nothing better to do with my boner pills.

What type of spam do you guys get?