Reading yesterdays article made me think back to one of my favorite stories about drinking in the workplace...and it's one of my own.  So let me share it with you in the spirit of being drunk at work. (We here at TheCubicleBlog.com do not sponsor drinking at work... :)  Back before I was able to get a job in my profession, I was forced into my first real cubicle job.  I needed to make some cash, and sadly the only way to do that was to strap on a headset and become a customer service representative.  I worked for a major cellular phone company and answered far too many questions about how to add numbers together to get their bill total.

Now, obviously with a job like this I wasn’t overly happy.  And to make it worse I was the new kid on the block so I had one of the worst shifts.  I had to work from 2:30pm until 11:30pm.  Now, when you work until almost midnight on a Friday it is almost impossible to get home, change and get downtown to go out and meet your friends.  Luckily, I had a way around this.

Picture this scenario: my best friend is having a huge party on Friday night and planning to hit the clubs at midnight.  Sadly I have to work that night so I figure I’m going to end up being the designated driver.  As I came to grips with being the responsible one, something inside of me snapped and said ‘not today…not today’.  It was at this moment that I happened to look up and see the pint of vodka sitting on my refrigerator.  I realized I had some juice in my fridge and all of a sudden I had an idea.

My friends came up with an alternate designated driver, and I told them to pick me up from work at 11:30pm on their way to the bar.  I dressed like I was going to go dancing and drinking for that shift at work.  People gave me some weird looks because the general attire for work was jogging pants and a ripped t-shirt.  But I had plans.  Big plans.

I made it through the first part of my shift by looking forward to 10:45pm which was when my last break of the day was.  Finally, the time arrived and I was on my break.  I threw down my headset and casually walked into the break room.  I opened the refrigerator and took out my brown lunch bag.  Without looking too suspicious I took the 750ml bottle of juice and vodka that I had mixed, and put in a name brand bottle, out of the bag.  Then I walked back to my cubicle.

I lost no time getting to business.  For the last 5 minutes of my break I pounded back as much I could, and the last 45 minutes of my shift I sipped vodka and juice while taking phone calls from disgruntled cell phone users.  By 11:15pm I was pretty buzzed, and found myself answering the phone using a different name.  If someone was yelling at me, I started just hanging up on them.  It was the best night at work I have ever had, and probably ever will have.

When 11:30pm rolled around, I packed up my headset for the night and stumbled my way out of the office.  My friends were waiting outside, and as soon as I got in the car we drove straight downtown and hit the clubs.  I didn’t even have to play catch up at the bar because I was already drunk.  On the list of all time best plays during my work career, this goes in the top 10 for sure.  So, drinking at work – I recommend whenever it makes sense.  Here are a few of my favorite reasons why employers should serve alcohol at work.

1. It's an incentive to show up

2. It leads to more honest communication

3. It encourages car pooling

4. It makes fellow employees look better

5. Sitting "bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross"