We have all been there – tired, forcing your eyes to stay open, knowing that at any moment your head is likely to fall, landing squarely on your keyboard, and for the rest of the day you will have key marks on your cheek.  And as attractive as the letters ‘asdf’ are, I don’t think the boss will think it is that funny.

For me it is always after lunch when I feel like I should pull a George Costanza and set up a little bed under my desk so that nobody will know I’m dreaming of days when looking at a grey cubicle wall wasn’t what I had to look forward to.  There are always other options like pretending your sick, going for an extra long bathroom break, or the ever classic going out for a nap in your car.

In the spirit of really wanting to take a nap in the cubicle, let’s take a look at a few clever excuses to give the boss when they walk in and find you with drool running down the side of your mouth.

You have to give points for being realistic.  Of most of the excuses I can think of, this one is at least plausible.  I’m not sure where you’re going to get the needle mark on your arm but if you’re planning ahead I would highly suggest taping a cotton ball to the inside of your arm so that it looks like you really did get blood taken.  Puncturing yourself for an added realistic touch is not suggested.

"I wasn't sleeping!  I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm"

Yeah that’s right – not only are you saying you weren’t sleeping but you’re saying that you were concentrating on work.  This is only going to work once before you get fired.  Especially since you probably do not even know what the mission statement is and the word paradigm just came out of your mouth because it sounded fancy.

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

Frankly, getting high at work is probably not your best excuse.  Although it is funny and probably safer to use than: ‘Sorry, I just finished smoking this joint and needed a power nap”.  Something tells me that in a cube with no ceiling, passing out from your White-Out is not going to cut it.

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

If you actually do all of your work on time, maybe this is believable.  However, if it takes you 20 minutes to get something from the office supplies closet guess what?  You’re not that effective.

And the last excuse, that I would love to use, is “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that”.  Last time I checked there is nothing in my contract that says I can’t have a nice nap in the middle of the afternoon.  In fact, if you’re going to use this excuse I think you might as well get a pillow and make it a daily event.  If you get caught it’s not like you did anything wrong.  Although once again I suggest not being hung-over and smelling like cheap vodka.

Those are a few of the best excuses we could collect, what ones have you tried?