HomeView Blog ArchivesSubmit TopicAbout UsContact Us
Sleeping at the Office
Written by Employee 505
Monday, October 30 2006

Sleeping at the officeWe have all been there – tired, forcing your eyes to stay open, knowing that at any moment your head is likely to fall, landing squarely on your keyboard, and for the rest of the day you will have key marks on your cheek.  And as attractive as the letters ‘asdf’ are, I don’t think the boss will think it is that funny.

 

For me it is always after lunch when I feel like I should pull a George Costanza and set up a little bed under my desk so that nobody will know I’m dreaming of days when looking at a grey cubicle wall wasn’t what I had to look forward to.  There are always other options like pretending your sick, going for an extra long bathroom break, or the ever classic going out for a nap in your car.

 

In the spirit of really wanting to take a nap in the cubicle, let’s take a look at a few clever excuses to give the boss when they walk in and find you with drool running down the side of your mouth.

 

"They told me at the blood bank that this might happen!" 

You have to give points for being realistic.  Of most of the excuses I can think of, this one is at least plausible.  I’m not sure where you’re going to get the needle mark on your arm but if you’re planning ahead I would highly suggest taping a cotton ball to the inside of your arm so that it looks like you really did get blood taken.  Puncturing yourself for an added realistic touch is not suggested.

 

"I wasn't sleeping!  I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm"

Yeah that’s right – not only are you saying you weren’t sleeping but you’re saying that you were concentrating on work.  This is only going to work once before you get fired.  Especially since you probably do not even know what the mission statement is and the word paradigm just came out of your mouth because it sounded fancy.

 

"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

Frankly, getting high at work is probably not your best excuse.  Although it is funny and probably safer to use than: ‘Sorry, I just finished smoking this joint and needed a power nap”.  Something tells me that in a cube with no ceiling, passing out from your White-Out is not going to cut it.

 

"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

If you actually do all of your work on time, maybe this is believable.  However, if it takes you 20 minutes to get something from the office supplies closet guess what?  You’re not that effective.

 

And the last excuse, that I would love to use, is “I didn’t know I couldn’t do that”.  Last time I checked there is nothing in my contract that says I can’t have a nice nap in the middle of the afternoon.  In fact, if you’re going to use this excuse I think you might as well get a pillow and make it a daily event.  If you get caught it’s not like you did anything wrong.  Although once again I suggest not being hung-over and smelling like cheap vodka.

 

Those are a few of the best excuses we could collect, what ones have you tried?




LIST OF COMMENTS

1/12. Prayer Time
Written by Big Palay - Monday, October 30 2006
I saw one site that said saying "Amen" and continuing your work was the way to go. Church is helpful!

2/12. They don't have to know that you stay up late
Written by Worker Bee - Monday, October 30 2006
I take a power nap every day. I've never been caught (unless I snore and I don't know it), but that's because I have a sliding door on my cubicle. But if I am ever caught, I take the "so what?" philosophy. Not only do I figure I'm doing nothing wrong, but what's more useful to the company: a person fighting sleep all day or a person who shuts off for 30 minutes and then comes back ready to go. I mean, it's only just longer than a trip to the supply closet!

3/12. sweet sleep
Written by Justin - Wednesday, November 01 2006
I would kill to be able to take naps at work... but they make the place so damn uncomfortable that I'd wake with a cramp in the neck. On the other hand, I wonder if I could say that the water is drugged with some sleeping agent...then I could scare employees at the same time.

4/12.
Written by Guest - Tuesday, March 24 2009
oGPkZl wvcgkpchtahw, [url=http://ivqkztpyadoo.com/]ivqkztpyadoo[/url], [link=http://vojdavopeiag.com/]vojdavopeiag[/link], http://qzzsgkqsxdtu.com/

5/12.
Written by Guest - Monday, May 18 2009
8FVrKk nlazegdnnkww, [url=http://csqmjjnigejo.com/]csqmjjnigejo[/url], [link=http://tttsdbuojdns.com/]tttsdbuojdns[/link], http://gynglmofezan.com/

6/12.
Written by Guest - Sunday, July 26 2009
xSQg1D ztdhxifscvmf, [url=http://ygsqjbiqanps.com/]ygsqjbiqanps[/url], [link=http://jiumhirfmnzl.com/]jiumhirfmnzl[/link], http://nlxqencwdkmf.com/

7/12. childhelp usa
Written by Gedaseenier - Sunday, August 16 2009
shark tale shark tale seattle seahawks roster seattle seahawks roster floyd little floyd little radio reference radio reference detroit lions detroit lions herschel walker herschel walker total security removal total security removal strike force strike force chargers game chargers game nick and norah s infinite playlist nick and norah s infinite playlist tampa bay buccaneers tampa bay buccaneers rhaka khan rhaka khan florida lottery florida lottery florida powerball florida powerball enough movie enough movie powerball numbers powerball numbers gilbert melendez gilbert melendez knoxville nationals 2009 knoxville nationals 2009 jim brown jim brown chargers radio chargers radio tlc.com/cakeboss tlc.com/cakeboss david wright hit in head video david wright hit in head video hurricane center hurricane center watch strikeforce online watch strikeforce online titanic facts titanic facts ben schwartzwalder ben schwartzwalder s100 helmet s100 helmet tyrell sutton tyrell sutton gina carano vs cyborg gina carano vs cyborg san diego chargers san diego chargers roy jones jr vs jeff lacy live stream roy jones jr vs jeff lacy live stream 1960 cotton bowl 1960 cotton bowl green bay packers green bay packers dissolving bathing suit dissolving bathing suit cris cyborg cris cyborg

8/12. jimmy conway
Written by Gedaseenier - Monday, August 17 2009
david wright concussion video david wright concussion video hallux hallux terrence j terrence j marshall university 1970 plane crash marshall university 1970 plane crash bloodrayne bloodrayne alanna ubach alanna ubach pga championship purse pga championship purse bart strike update bart strike update hurricane tracker hurricane tracker surfin bird surfin bird mad men season 3 mad men season 3 alicia tully jensen alicia tully jensen shark tank abc shark tank abc github github my antonio my antonio fullmetal alchemist brotherhood episode 20 fullmetal alchemist brotherhood episode 20 army wives spoilers army wives spoilers kim kardashian blonde hair kim kardashian blonde hair khloe after dark khloe after dark eminem died in a car crash eminem died in a car crash heidi montag playboy interview heidi montag playboy interview guk guk pdq pdq livvi franc livvi franc kristin rossetti kristin rossetti little league world series little league world series watch entourage season 6 episode 6 watch entourage season 6 episode 6 chula vista little league chula vista little league dash clothing dash clothing

9/12.
Written by Guest - Tuesday, September 29 2009
1sWxYM vxuxkfpbrqck, [url=http://hbtskbnruftz.com/]hbtskbnruftz[/url], [link=http://xtdpvhnkcdxp.com/]xtdpvhnkcdxp[/link], http://alyjvascexex.com/

10/12.
Written by Guest - Monday, January 04 2010
RtNSPN nzblnqgwxjmr, [url=http://zajrjaswzetb.com/]zajrjaswzetb[/url], [link=http://tnnjowtaarle.com/]tnnjowtaarle[/link], http://sdqudhpiglpu.com/

11/12.
Written by Guest - Thursday, February 25 2010
PvwDvh zwuubklvuwje, [url=http://xjejjmbjwrau.com/]xjejjmbjwrau[/url], [link=http://iekvvjwbzuhk.com/]iekvvjwbzuhk[/link], http://ctmurpgychdq.com/

12/12.
Written by Guest - Friday, April 23 2010
OjTjhQ fwduukvrznky, [url=http://catydvzllflj.com/]catydvzllflj[/url], [link=http://uqydlduwcwcy.com/]uqydlduwcwcy[/link], http://sblsjhfwixtz.com/

Add Your Comment

1. How to Scare Your Co-Work
2. The Office Dullard
3. New Workplace Vocabulary
 
Web This site

     | Home | View Blog Archives | Submit Topic | About Us | Contact Us | Syndicate |   -  © 2006 TheCubicleBlog.com